Episode 13: Your Mental Spotlight
Your life is like a musical, and you are the director. You get to choose what you shine your mental spotlight on. It's up to you to decide what things you will think about, talk about, post about, complain about, worry about, express gratitude for, or believe in. Who or what do you want to cast as the lead in your musical?? Where do you want to give your focus and attention? Tune into this week's episode to get some inspiring advice from the Apostle Paul that can help you as you direct the musical inside your mind.
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Tommy Newberry's Book, The 4:8 Principle (It's so good!)
The 4:8 Principle: The Secret to a Joy-Filled Life
Full Transcript:
You're listening to the Think New Thoughts podcast with Emily Ricks, episode number 13, Your Mental Spotlight.
I'm Emily Ricks and this is Think New Thoughts, a life coaching podcast to help you find more joy in your relationships. In each episode, I'll share a simple idea that will help you see things in a new way so you can love God, your neighbor, and yourself more deeply than you ever have before. If you're ready to literally change your mind, I think you'll like it here.
Hey, how's it going? I want to talk today about the power you have to choose what you focus on and the impact that that has on your life.
My son was in a musical recently. He got to play Gomez in the Addams Family and I loved watching him perform and I love our high school and the community of teachers and students and parents that work so hard to make a show come together. A musical has so many elements. The most visible ones are the show itself, the scriptwriters and songwriters who created the characters and the story, the actors and the actresses, the singing, the dancing, the blocking, the directing. And there's also tons of other facets that aren't usually as visible but are super important like set design, set construction, costumes, makeup, props, scene changes, the orchestra, the lighting, the sound, the publicity crew, the ticket sales, the ushers, the programs. So many different elements.
I got to see the show multiple times and I noticed that my eyes were drawn to focus on certain things and not focus on certain things as I watched. There was so much to take in and sometimes there were dozens of actors on the stage so I got to choose what to look at in any given moment and of course I was mostly riveted on my son Jacob when he was on stage. But I also focused on the other leads and I had a few voice students in the production so sometimes I would focus on what they were doing or maybe there was a dancer that I found particularly graceful and so I would zone in on her for a portion of a song and a lot of times I just naturally looked at whoever was speaking or singing as the story unfolded which is what the blocking and the lighting are designed to help me do right so I can follow the story. But sometimes I would end up looking at random things, like there was a night where, uh well, there's a scene where all of the dead Addams ancestors are in the house and a bunch of them are holding candelabras that each have three candles and one of the nights I saw one candle drop onto the floor and so then I was focused on that candle for the next several minutes. And I was wondering if the actor would take an opportunity to like nonchalantly pick it up or if he was just going to leave it there so he wouldn't draw attention to himself so some people probably didn't even notice that candle but that night that's what I was looking at during that part. So that's just interesting, right. All of the people watching may not have been focused on the exact same thing at any given time during the show and I noticed how much the lighting guided what I chose to focus on.
Think about how much of a difference the lighting makes during a show the lights go down as the show begins which directs your attention to the stage and the orchestra playing the overture. The lights come up on the stage as the show begins directing your attention to the characters when a lead is singing a solo they often have a spotlight or another strategic lighting choice that directs your attention completely and totally to the soloist. The lights go down during scene changes as the tech crew dressed completely in black so you won't really notice them moves the set pieces on and off. And as audience members we're vaguely aware that there are people setting up props and moving things around but usually we don't focus on that too much like I've never been to a show where they spotlight the backstage crew as they're wheeling set pieces on and off the stage, right. They purposely light up the performers and purposely don't draw attention to a lot of the other elements of the show.
So, I believe that your life is like a musical and you're the director and the lighting crew. You're also a performer and an audience member all at the same time but you get to decide who or what you want to cast as the leads in your musical and what you want to purposely draw your attention to or away from. So here's a question that I like to ask myself, I like to ask my clients so I want to offer it to you today. Who have you cast as the leads in your musical the leads get the spotlight? They get the attention, right? They're going to be center stage. They're at the front during the dance numbers. Who or what do you shine your mental spotlight on day-to-day in your life? And here's how you know what you talk about, what you think about, what you spend your time doing, what you complain about, what you express gratitude for. These are the things that you have cast as the leads in your musical. Maybe on purpose maybe by accident. What you talk about, post about, gripe about, worry about, hope for, plan for, this is where you are shining your mental spotlight. Whatever you shine your mental spotlight on, whatever you choose to focus on will be what you notice the most as you live your life. What you create more of as you continue to talk about it and think about it, whether it's something you do want and you focus on it or it's something you don't want and you focus on it.
Tommy Newberry, who is a christian life coach, calls this the 4-8 principle. Simply stated it's something like this, if you dwell on your strengths, your blessings, your goal,s and all the people who love you, then you will attract more blessings, even more love and even more accomplishments. That's the 4-8 principle. He calls it the 4-8 principle because it comes directly from Philippians chapter 4 verse 8.
I'm going to read that scripture to you: “Finally brothers and sisters, whatsoever things are true whatsoever things are honest whatsoever things are just whatsoever things are pure whatsoever things are lovely whatsoever things are of good report if there be any virtue and if there be any praise think on these things".”
I love this scripture so much and I love calling it the 4-8 principle. I love trying to live this principle in my life and it matches with scriptures that tell us to be of good cheer to not be afraid to believe. To rejoice those scriptures are an invitation to shine your mental spotlight on what is virtuous lovely and of good report.
So Tommy Newberry has an annual marriage retreat for couples my husband and i've been to it before and we're headed again in 2025. We really love it. And at the marriage retreat one of the things he talks about is the idea of you know 4-8 thinking and that you can 4-8 your mate. That's what he says. So 4-8 as like an action, right? That you you can purposely look for the good in your spouse or any other person, so he calls that you 4-8 your mate and it's focusing on what you love about your spouse. You think about it, write about it, pray about it, speak it to your spouse and this builds a strong marriage. When you shine the spotlight on what you appreciate and love about your spouse.
You can also 4-8 your kids. Focus on what you love about them. You can 4-8 anybody in your life, you can 4-8 yourself, you can shine your mental spotlight on your strengths, on your identity as a child of God. You have weaknesses and you will make mistakes but don't make those the lead in your musical. Shine your spotlight on God and his mercy, his forgiveness, and your mistakes and shortcomings can fade into the background as you look to God and focus on him. So that's just what I want to share with you today. You have a mental spotlight and you can shine it on whatever you choose to in your life, you don't get to decide everything that happens to you, but you do get to choose what you focus on, what you dwell on, think about, talk about and give energy and attention to it.
So, this admonition of Paul in Philippians chapter four verse eight is such a beautiful thing to use as a guide, right? If something is virtuous lovely of good report or praiseworthy, those are the things that we want to think about. Now it's kind of humorous if you flip that to the opposite and Tommy Newberry talks about this in his book called The Principle. And he says if we were to flip it to the opposite it might sound like, finally, folks whatever is untrue, dishonest, unjust, impure, ugly, negative, vicious or worthy of criticism. Think about these things so that would be exactly opposite of the four eight principle. Exactly opposite of the admonition of Paul, but by default this is what a lot of humans tend to do. We focus on what is wrong, what is frustrating, what is not the way we want it to be, what is worthy of criticism and judgment whether in ourselves or in others and this is not the admonition of Paul. It's not the admonition of the Savior when he says look unto me in every thought doubt not fear not.
So, what do you focus on, what do you complain about, what do you worry about, what do you talk about, what do you spend time and energy thinking about? What has your mental spotlight been shining on lately? Is that what you want, is that what you want to be shining your thoughts and your energy on? It really is up to you.
The four eight principle can be described in so many ways. Here are a few phrases that explain what it's about: What I look for in my mind is what I'm going to find. This is how I worded it in the find the joy song that I wrote. Some people say what you focus on expands, you will see more of whatever you shine your mental spotlight on, what you focus on becomes more and more important to you, what you don't focus on fades into the background and becomes less important. I've heard it said, the mind sees what the eye looks for or some people say what you look for, you will find evidence to prove. So, all of this is related to the four eight principle.
So, the final thing I want to share with you about this is three words I love. This phrase, and this also comes from Tommy Newberry, and he talks about it at the marriage retreat. Focus creates feeling. Focus creates feeling so whatever you are focusing on is going to impact and create your emotions. And so I like to think of emotions as an indicator of what I’m focusing on. So fear is a form of focus, anger is a form of focus, gratitude is a form of focus, joy is also a form of focus. When we are afraid, we're shining our mental spotlight on what we don't have and what we don't want and what we don't want to happen. When we're angry we're shining our mental spotlight on what we don't want people to do or say or have done or have said. When we're grateful we're shining our mental spotlight on what we have what we appreciate what we believe what we hope for. When we feel joy we're shining our mental spotlight on what we love, what we enjoy what we want to create and on using our time and talents to serve others and glorify God.
So, here's an invitation I have for you. Use your emotions as an indicator light to let you know what you're shining your mental spotlight on, because focus creates feeling. So, if you're worried, use that as an indicator to help you notice what it is you're thinking about and believing. If you're frustrated use this as an indicator to help you understand what you're thinking about what you're focusing on. If you want to get some insight and be able to work through these emotions, make a model “CTFAR”, write it on a piece of paper: Circumstance, Thought, Feeling, Action, Result. And you can put in the circumstance line the situation that you're experiencing in your life, put on the feeling line the emotion that you feel. Then see if you can find out the thoughts the mental spotlight that you have put that's creating the emotion that you have, this will give you insight if you like what you have cast as the lead in your musical. You can keep it the same but if you're tired of focusing your attention on that thing and tired of how you feel when you dwell on it, you're the director you can change where you shine the spotlight.
There will be things in your life that aren't your favorite, that are unpleasant, even painful. Those things don't have to be the lead in your musical, they're part of your story but they don't have to get all the attention. I believe in the joy of disciplining our minds and choosing intentionally where we want to put our focus attention and energy. If you want help with this, come check out the Think New Thoughts Academy, it's my coaching membership. We do a live online workshop each month, you get a one-on-one session with me each month to help you learn skills and tools and help you apply them in your life so you can be the director of your mind and decide where you want to shine your mental spotlight. It's life-changing work. I'd love for you to come be part of it, you can learn more at emilyrickscoaching.com/join.
Thanks for joining me today!